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They’d be funding investigations and demanding to know why they were being lied to. Close relatives of the most powerful men in America. And all the evidence pointed to heavy insider trading around 9/11.

We thought they’d find chemical composites in the area that would prove Building 7 was blown up. Italy’s foreign minister, Antonio Martino, said: “Baxter Dmitry is a writer at Your News Wire. Speaking truth to power since he learned to talk, Baxter has travelled in over 80 countries and won arguments in every single one.

Luckily she is not the sort to hold a grudge, and she will let it slide this time.

As long as you hurry up and get her big day started! As was previously mentioned, you are poised for an ELITE OPPORTUNITY to test the SBURB ALPHA.

What sort of vulgar, childish moniker were you going to stick this poor bastard with? You would love to travel around the world, toppling any SACRED URNS you encountered. You can basically take this story LITERALLY ANYWHERE, as long as you don't pick one of those shadowy characters, and as long as the panels are actually finished being drawn. 11/12/11 "Jane: Get hat." You captchalogue your FAVORITE HAT, which is also your ONLY HAT. Not the most awe inspiring logo you've ever seen, but who are you to judge? (You make a mental note that when you turn 18 and inherit the company you will change it back to a spoon, you love the spoon.) 11/14/11 "Jane: Examine bowlbuster." Sure enough, the JUNIOR BATTERMASTER'S BOWLBUSTER STIRRING SOLUTION 50000 has been affected too, along with your specibus. Not the type I'd expect to trot out such persistent falsehoods beyond their humorous welcome.

You'd be tickled by the opportunity to defile HALLOWED TOMBS everywhere, raiding them of their treasures. It is like this whole panoramic cornucopia of limitless possibility sprawling before your very eyes. You spent basically your ENTIRE CHILDHOOD in this hat, pretending to be hard boiled detectives and whatnot. Everyone could tell by a glance that you were your father's daughter, sired from his loins directly and genetically, through what was undoubtedly a natural process of human procreation involving a man and a woman. Crockercorp is nothing if not thorough with its branding tactics. 11/14/11 "Jane: Try flipping switch." You try the broken switch again. 11/16/11 "Jane: Ok, back to the chest." You return to your BAKING CHEST which you use mainly for storing QUALITY PRANKING APPARATUS and a few other odds and ends. His friendly face is there to greet you every time you open your chest. Unfortunately his life was cut short at the tender age of 86 in a tragic accident, coincidentally on the same day you were born, or so your dad tells you. He is also one of your idols, and as it happens, has a bit of a history with your poppop. And then there's a customized copy of PONY PALS, a gift to you on your 14th birthday from the slippery Mr. Each page contains lovingly hand-written commentary on the deeds of this intrepid young horse.

Seriously, the shenanigans perpetrated by your pals make your old school japes feel KIND OF PEDESTRIAN SOMETIMES, but oh well, you love them all anyway.

You once dabbled in AMATEUR BOTANY but found it TOO FRUSTRATING, because your VEGETABLES KEPT DISAP-actually you know what, you DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.2X3PRONG DAY (WHATEVER THAT MEANS), a date exhibiting just the sort of numerical gimmick corporations love to exploit for their big releases, or for launching MAJOR REBRANDING INITIATIVES.In the case of your CHERISHED MULTIGLOBAL EMPIRE, both such events are slated to happen today.It is so elite in fact, you are the only of your kind invited to playtest!Though you guess that probably comes with the territory of being the HEIRESS APPARENT TO A BAKED GOODS EMPIRE.It was already engraved in her HONORARY PLACRONYM on her 13th birthday, which was about two and a half years ago, and has been sitting here neatly on the bookshelf ever since.